You Can Love Your Life Now!

By Charlene M. Brown

Who inspired you when you were little?  Was it your mother or some superhero (or maybe your mother was the superhero)?  Was it a teacher or a religious figure?  Or maybe it was a favorite writer or a famous actress or singer.  Whoever it was, I am willing to bet that when you were little, there was someone who you wanted to be just like.  So you emulated her-you took her habits and characteristics and made them your own.

What happened to you?  What happened to that little girl who thought she could do anything?  That little girl who could be the Courageous Cowgirl or the Awesome Author?  Where did she go?

I’ll tell you where:  she got stuck behind, “Well, dear, you should do this,” and, “You’re gonna be a famous doctor/lawyer/nurse when you grow up.”  Mired in Vogue or Elle or Redbook, which all told you that you should “look” and “be” a certain way.  Or maybe she got caught inside the “Nice Girl” Syndrome (NGS)-you know the one, “Nice Girls do this” and “Nice Girls never do that.”  Somehow, some way, that little girl who thought (knew!) she could fly, gave way to the grown woman who conceded her wings for something a little more practical, like pumps, or flats and business casual sweaters and slacks!

Humor me a moment.  Pretend that you weren’t at all concerned with worldly, adult things like rent or mortgages, other people’s expectations, bills-all that worldly stuff.  Go back to being that little girl who could do anything.  Remember her in vivid colors and expressions.  Now fast forward her life to the adult version of her (if she decided to ever grow up).  What is she doing?  Let that marinate for a bit.

Is she worrying about what her mother or friends say?  Is she trying to achieve that impossible Glamour look?  No!!  What happens when you release others’ outside expectations of you and step into your own?  In fact, what do you expect of yourself?  How much of it is infused with what other people expect of you?  Hold on to that all grown up little girl who could fly.  Can you merge that image with the one of you in your own expectations?  Try.  Try a little harder.  Go on, you can do it.  Let this marinate next to the superhero for awhile.

Chew on this: Do you want to be that girl-turned-woman you just imagined?  The one who does her own thing and doesn’t worry what others have to say about it?  Do you?  Until you allow yourself to R-E-L-E-A-S-E all the other people’s “shoulds,” you will never be her.  But alas! There is hope!

While release is not easy, it can be done if you are committed to it.  Tell yourself that you are perfectly wonderful exactly as you are (You Are! ).  Now go and find that little girl (or maybe she’s grown now too) inside you in that still houses your own dreams, that still believes you can do anything.  Hold onto her.  Write down what she wants to do, what You want to do.  Note how you feel.

When we are doing things we don’t want to do there is a fluttering in our belly, sometimes dizziness, headaches, resistance from some unnamable place, no matter how you express it.  However, when we are doing things we want to do, we have feelings of peace and calm and gut instincts that say “Yes!”  Work toward this “Yes!”  Keep it as your goal.

Claim your inner Superhero.  Let her come out and play.  Don’t you still want to be that heroine of your little girl dreams?  Do You Want To Love Your Life Now!?  I Do!

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