By Charlene M. Brown
Normally, I write to you about other people. But here, I am going to talk to you about myself a little bit and share a part of my Journey with you, as it relates to defining myself as a woman:
Throughout my Journey, I have come to believe that “Most Rules Aren’t Meant For Me.” Though most people don’t know it (and many don’t believe me anyway 
), I have lived much of my life on the fringe of society, on the outside looking in, mostly content to do my own thing. Growing up, the need to be included by others (my peers) was probably about normal for me, but that sometimes made being a fringe dweller a bit of a lonely experience.
Unknown to me at the time, however, many people took notice and saw me as “strong”, “independent” and “free-spirited.” Apparently, people respected this about be, although I had no idea at the time. Other people generally saw these as “positive traits” although I didn’t find this out until much later.
In fact, I used to describe my life in terms of being able to see the paved road, be in full view of it in fact, but being the machete-wielding-mama next to it, clearing my own path. And while my Life has simplified for me a great deal and I am not quite that dramatic anymore, the lesson of doing my own thing is still here.
All of this was going on as I was struggling to define myself as a woman, counterintuitive to all of the messages I was receiving from “the outside world” (the media, entertainment industry and society in general).
Society was telling me that in order to be “A Lady”, I had to do certain things. Well guess what? Those things weren’t working for me! All those things “A Lady” doesn’t do, well, I was doing them!
I figured out (through a try, try-again and try one more time process) that those rules didn’t define my Womanness. The only person or entity that could define that was ME!
No matter what I do, I will never be He-Man. I can be She-Ra, hear me Roar, or purr, or growl, or smile if I want to. Just because I can think for myself, like to putter around with tools, do my own thing, doesn’t mean that I have taken away from my Womanness.
All of this is true for you too, if only you believe it. Try it! Give yourself three weeks. Believe that You Can! for three weeks. Whatever it is, believe that you can do it. Pretend that you are Superwoman and everything is possible. Whenever you are having doubts, just Believe You Can! Just try it! Post a comment to let us know how it turns out for you.
For too long, we as women have let outside influences coerce us into how we define ourselves. Whether this was men who simply wanted something nice to look at (think high heels and pantyhose) or “society” (read media) giving us unrealistic expectations of what we should “be” or “look” like (think Barbie dolls and popular magazines). Whatever the case, the changing times call for a changing (changed!) outlook. It is no longer that a woman is defined solely based against who her husband is. We as women have the Power to Be anything we choose to Be—and it is always a choice—Our Choice!
Rosy the Riveter said it best: Whatever It is, “We Can Do It!”
Do You Love Your Woman-Life Now!? I DO!!
Related posts:
- How To Be A “Lady”: Her Shifting Ways, Part I
- Cool Women: Reviewing The Shorts!
- The Shifting Sands of Change!
- Charlie’s Angels, Kept Women, and Buying Your Own Drinks
- Googling the Renaissance: Real Women and Feminism!
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
Tags: being a lady, being ladylike, believe that you can, charlene brown, charlene brown articles, charli brown, charli brown articles, fringe dweller, he-man, how to be a lady, independent woman, independent women, ladylike, Renaissance Women!, rosy the riveter, She-ra, Superwoman, you can love your life now
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Pretty nice post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say
that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way
I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Thanks Mary! I am constantly updating it, so please, keep checking back.
~Charli
June 24th, 2009 at 12:02 am
the problem with us ladies is that we’re always tryin to measure up to something: whether it be other women or men or celebrities or whatever. when are we going to start excepting ourselves for who we are? and believe me, I’m saying this to myself 1st
June 25th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Loved your latest post, by the way.
December 12th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
[...] have a number of articles about “How To Be A Lady” and how that definition has changed dramatically over the [...]