By Charlene M Brown
Do you have siblings? Whose your mom’s favorite child?
I bet you had an answer to that question!
For those of you in that coveted favorite spot, Congratulations! For the rest of us, well, we can still have reasonable relationships with our mothers even though we aren’t her favorite!
I have Fourth-Child-Syndrome (FCS). This means that as my parents’ fourth and last child, I never got to do anything first and I always got everyone else’s leftovers. It means I wore the hand-me-downs of the hand-me-downs, and was never the biggest or fastest. I didn’t win the most trophies and I wasn’t the best at games!
I could be very bitter. I could be very resentful. I could have no respect for my parents. But I don’t have any of these things. Somehow, I made it work.
I decided that I could shine in areas that my siblings did not. I was the first to travel outside the country. I did very well in school and had more scholarships than them (okay, so I stuck my tongue out on that one—maybe I’m a little bitter 
)
How does all of this relate to my relationship with my mother, you ask? Well that’s a great question—I’ll tell you!
A reality that most offspring know, that their parents deny, is that parents really do have favorites (and ironically, if you ask your parents who the favorite siblings are/were in their households, I bet they have an answer too!) Just like you have friends who you favor more than others, we all know that parents favor some of their children over others.
So our mother’s are guilty of being human! We have to learn to get over it! For my relationship with MY mother, what this has done is give us creative ways to deal with each other.
I have several articles about sharing my love of good food with my mother. But I also know that she respects my ability to be fluid in most situations, she respects my traveling spirit, she appreciates my love of learning and books and my sponge-like grasp of information (her words, not mine). She also, I found out recently, thinks I am the one she will have to worry about the least, because she thinks I can make it! Hunh! How ‘bout them apples! (Or Pomegranates, as my sister says!)
(This is not to say that she doesn’t think my siblings will make it in whatever they choose to do, just that one of my strengths, vs. those of my siblings, is being highly adaptable)
And I appreciate my mother because she is human. She gets angry, she laughs (she is so cute when she is laughing hysterically—and all of her children make her laugh hysterically from time to time), she has ups, she has downs—she’s a human being! I can respect that!
Often, we forget that our parent’s are human too.
So despite me not being her “favorite child”, we find ways to celebrate each other in ways unique and important to us that strengthen and enhance our relationship.
Do You Love Your Life Now!? I Do! (Because I learned to make peace with my mother!)
Related posts:
- The Big Switcheroo!
- The “Other” Mothers!
- Is Marriage Overrated!?
- HerStory: Gaining Woman’s Wisdom!
- Little Things That Will Delight Your Mother!
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
Tags: charlene brown, charlene brown articles, charlene brown life coach, charlene m brown, charli brown, charli brown articles, charli brown life coach, common ground with your mom, common ground with your mother, fourth child syndrome, hand me downs, last child syndrome, moms favorite child, Mother-Daughter Dynamics, parents are human, parents favorite child, sibling rivalry, you can love your life now
October 25th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
u have grown so much
October 25th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Lol! Thank you! You, of all people, would definitely know!