By Charlene M Brown
In my house growing up, when the first kid left for college, that finally freed up enough space for each of the remaining siblings to get her own room (ahem, that would really mean me and I was in high school!). At the time my brother left, we did a big room switcheroo and changed five rooms around all in one day! It was an exhausting day and everyone involved slept well that night!
But that’s not the switcheroo that I am talking about. I am talking about the role reversal we go through with our parents as we all become older and they are reliant on us!
It goes from taking your mom out to eat to paying for your dad’s prescription here and there to having them become completely dependent on YOU!
There are many, and this is mostly women, who are raising their teenagers AND their parents!
This can be a frazzling experience. I remember the first time I realized that my parents were aging-I came home from college and noticed (and noted) the slower pace, the greyer hair, and the less remembering of both my parents-they were becoming “old.”
It kind of scared me, but I am a little more accepting of it now. And while I say this in jest, it can be a scary process to witness.
In that vein, here are some suggestions to keep your sanity, especially if you are now taking care of a parent (or other family Elder) who is living with you:
1. Remember that Mom (and Dad) is human too. I know we sometimes forget this, but it’s true and they want to be treated like a human being too.
2. You’re not going to change your parents (just like they aren’t going to change you) and old habits die hard (and they often die terrible, horrible deaths!).
3. You are going to need to make concessions, just as your parents did when you became a teenager. Adjustments will need to be made when adapting your lifestyle to having a parent back in the house.
4. Treat your mother age appropriately. She is an adult and can make her own decisions, let her do so. Nagging your mom is no different than her nagging you.
5. Be kind and try a little love. I know it can be hard to watch your parents age, believe me, it’s no picnic for them either-they want to remember where they put their eyeglasses too! But they don’t. It might be more advantageous to help your mother find her glasses than yelling at her for not knowing where they are!
The shifting dynamics of parent-offspring relationships can sometimes be tricky to navigate, especially because some of us think we are Superwoman. It’s okay to ask for help. And it doesn’t make you a bad daughter if you have to. Give yourself a break too!
Try a Little Love Today!
Do You Love Your Life Now!? I Do!!
Related posts:
- Mothers Really Do Have Favorites!
- The “Other” Mothers!
- HerStory: Gaining Woman’s Wisdom!
- Little Things That Will Delight Your Mother!
- Is Marriage Overrated!?
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
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