By Charlene M Brown
The Hook-up Culture! Whether you recognize it by name or not, I’d bet that you know what I’m talking about.
Hooking-up with someone instead of pursuing a relationship with him. Short-term, right- now gratification that perhaps gives you the hugging and kissing and fondling (and maybe even the sex) satisfaction that you are seeking. But what do all these short term Usings (because you are being used and using someone else) look like carried into the future when you DO want a long term relationship!?
While mostly prevailing among high school- and college-aged women, us grown folks do it to. In our instantaneous technology driven culture, sometimes we forget how to see things to completion, how to make things work for the long haul.
For some of us even thinking about the “long haul” makes us squeamish, especially when it comes to relationships.
However, what are you gaining by repeatedly selling yourself short? In past generations, you would have gained “a reputation” which would have made you less desirable for marriage. But we’re in modern times now. Our social rules of etiquette have changed! And I, for one, am glad that women have this wonderful freedom of choice and that so many of us exercise it.
Recently in the news, there was a big hubbub about Michelle Obama, the First Lady, wearing shorts as she went on vacation in the desert in the summertime! Really!? Shorts!? Not some scandalous outfit that she wore along K Street in DC’s Red Light District! Get over it! Who was really up in arms about that anyway! Some “anonymous source”, I’m sure!
But I digress.
Mrs. Obama, thankfully, appeared to not be ruffled at all. (Okay, so that was still part of the digression—I’m done now, promise!)
Back to us twenty- and thirty-somethings and our fear of commitment! Oops! Did I say that out loud?
Well, since I said it, yeah, I mean it! We, as a culture, are afraid of commitment.
Since we are so afraid to commit to anything, we “try out”, sample, if you will, many different things (by things I mean intimate partners in this case). But I ask you, where is the intimacy when you share your Self with so many different people!?
It is not! By definition, intimacy means a certain closeness with another. Sleeping around (or fondling around, as the case may be), doesn’t lend itself to closeness, just by the mere fact that you are doing it with so many people.
Here again, I say you’re selling yourself short!
This is not Baskin Robbins, where you can just discard your little plastic spoon once you are done with that flavor. Yet this is exactly what we are doing!
Ladies, think about this: we live in a culture that says that women can go just as far as men. And we are encouraged to do so, in school, in work and even in the bedroom. There is a lot to be said for sexual freedom and having the ability to make decisions about what we do in our private lives. But I ask you this: when you get up and leave in the morning (or middle of the night), do you feel empowered? Or do you still feel the same emptiness you were trying to fill?
I’d bet on emptiness every time, even after the Power has disappeared. (Note here that feeling POWERful and being EMPOWERED are two totally different things!)
I’d bet, that when you look in the mirror later, you will still feel like you need to fill that void.
This is why we are selling ourselves short! We deserve better! We all deserve to be Loved and Feel Beautiful!
But guess where this has to start!?
With Us!
We have to make ourselves beautiful!
I’m not talking about swiping on layers and layers of makeup which hides our true selves. I’m talking about genuinely liking and loving WHO YOU ARE!
Only then, will our real beauty shine through and we will Know our SELF WORTH!
Ladies, Collectively, WE HAVE TO STOP SELLING OURSELVES SHORT!
Join with me in Loving Your Life Now!
Do You Love Your Life Now!? I DO (Because I Am Beautiful and try not to sell myself short!)!
Related posts:
- Unhooked: A Book Review
- Brown Bag Sexiness!
- Oprah, Chris Rock and Good Hair: What A Combo!
- True Beauty: Finding It In The Every Day!
- Choosing Change!
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
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