By Charlene M. Brown
In her book, Unhooked: How young women pursue sex, delay love and lose at both, author Laura Sessions Stepp tells it like it is in so many ways. In this fantastically written book, Stepp takes a glimpse into the lives of several young women and by following them around for a year, draws striking conclusions about the current culture we as women are in.
While I am slightly older than the demographic she worked with, most everything in this at least made sense to me.
In Unhooked, Stepp talks about the game of “hooking-up” so prominently displayed in most of this country’s colleges and high schools, and even as young as middle school. In fact, the book opens up with a meeting in a principal’s office of a Washington, D.C. suburban middle school about a sex ring that had been going on there.
What an eye opening story that was, even for me who has spent a considerable amount of time working with young people!
Stepp recounts the stories of several young women, both in high school and college, and listens as they tell their stories over the course of a year and how the “hook-up culture” has largely detracted from real meaningful relationships for these young women. Because hooking up is so prevalent in their lives, these young women don’t even know how to go about forming these lasting relationships.
The hook-up culture takes a very casual view on sex and marks it is something “women own and feel like they have to give it up” vs. the “dating culture of previous generations, where sex was something ‘that women owned and men had to pursue.’ ” In my estimation, both of these things are true! In fact, most of the women interviewed all say at some point or another, that hooking up with so many different guys has left them empty inside.
This book is, in a word, unraveling.
What I like about the book, is that a) it is not instant gratification, b)the author is non judgmental in her assessments, she is merely trying to figure out what is going on, and c) Stepp gives good comparisons so that everybody can understand the points she is making. She uses the voice of her interviews instead of her own (most of the time) so that you feel like someone you know has just had this conversation with you!
Somewhere along the book jacket of my copy it says this is a book that all young women and their parents should read. I am inclined to agree with this. It certainly opened my eyes and I even made some connections as an adult, to the culture on which I sit at the outskirts!
GO! Read!
Do You Love Your Life Now!? I Do (because I recognize the Truth when I come across it)!
Related posts:
- The HookUp Culture: Selling OurSelves Short!
- Do Unto Others
- Remember The Time!
- On Relationships!
- Glory Days: Living in the Present and Taking Responsibility!
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
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October 25th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
things that make u say hmmm? the realities young people today are faced with are our reflection of an over-sexulized culture.Am I the only one that has seen Hanna Montana lately? Suite Life? Degrassi? this is what is on Disney and Nikolodean these days. What ever happen to Mickey Mouse?
With the dissapearce of athletic and music programs, young women and men are left up to their own devices to fill their time. Okay, Charli you got me worked up, I gotta blog about this one . . . lol great entry!
October 25th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
lol! Thank you. So true. Young people these days cannot help what they are given and what they are not by us, the adults in their lives. But we, as adults, do need to step up and change the messages we are sending them, especially our girls. You have to read the book–it is excellent! Ms. Stepp, really covers all the bases