By Charlene M. Brown
I have a client who has been getting all the right signals from a man who she is interested in. She’s been giving her own signals back and has made it clear that she is interested. She has been pro-active (not provocative!), trying to make whatever “it” is move forward.
Yet, he has not made a move!
She has talked to one of her male friends who came to the same conclusion that she had: the guy thought she was a long-term partner and they were both afraid of commitment!
From what I know about my client, this is definitely a Truism for her.
Ladies, this is actually true for all of us!
Women tend to fall faster for a man. Though, when a man falls for a woman, he tends to fall harder—his devotion tends to be deeper—it is complete.
Lovely Lady! You. Yes You, Lovely Lady. Stop looking around, I am talking to the Beautiful Woman who is reading this. I have to tell you something: You are a good catch and you have qualities that make you uniquely YOU! You are perfect just as you are!!
If no one ever told you, I am telling you now. And I know this to be true!
While this is wonderful news, I know that you may be terrified of sharing this Wonderfulness with another and you may not even realize it.
Now let me let you in on a little secret: your fear is not a really of the other person, but a fear of . . . . YOURSELF!
There is no magic formula for getting over this, just a step-by-step approach, one unique piece at a time. You have to learn to talk to yourself like you were talking to your best friend—completely honest.
Here’s a game for you:
The catch is that you cannot pass judgment while you play this game.
Now, go get a mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Say out loud what you see. Remember NO JUDGMENTS! You are only acknowledging all of your self-parts.
Play this game for 5-10 minutes every day. Start with the things that you physically see—eyes, nose, mouth, hands, feet, etc. You may need to do this a few (or a lot of) times before you feel comfortable with just physically Being Who You Are! and saying so out loud.
Once you are comfortable, move onto other things, like personality traits and habits. Repeat this game with any particular set of “things” until you can accept them looking yourself in the eyes without judgment. This may take awhile—that is Wonderfully Okay! It may be helpful to keep a notebook and something to write with nearby when you play this game. You may want to jot down the “things” or any thoughts you have in response to them, or both. Go with your gut.
At some point, you will all of a sudden, know yourself very well, in-and-out. And this will make it much easier for you to share yourself with someone else. This will clear the path of intimacy for you!
Aha! You now have the key to being intimate with others: being intimate with yourself!
In general, we attract what we give out. Said differently: the people and situations we surround ourselves with are reflections of how we feel about ourselves. When we feel terrible about ourselves, we attract people and situations that reinforce this self image—everything and everyone seems to hate us. But when we feel good and great about ourselves, we attract people and situations that (who) feel great about us!
Playing this simple game is one step on the Journey. I’ve played it, it works, but I didn’t just wake up one day and all of a sudden know myself extremely well. It took lots of practice and repeated attempts.
I know it’s hard to believe that it’s really that simple, but it really is. So let’s get intimate with ourselves, ladies! Happy Discoveries!
Do You Love Your Life Now!? I Do!!
Related posts:
- Facing Yourself!
- Look Around First!
- Emotional Baggage: Clearing the Clutter!
- The Truth of the Matter Is . . .
- The HookUp Culture: Selling OurSelves Short!
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
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