By Charlene M. Brown
You ever have someone put all their negative “flaws” on you? Make you feel like they’re your flaws instead of theirs? Me too!
When I was a freshman in college I took an “Intro to Psychology” class. There I learned what a projectionist is—someone who projects all of their negative traits onto others and disclaims any personal responsibility for them. (Yes, I know you’re not supposed to use a word in its definition . . . )
I know a lot of these folks!
Some of them are friends. But many of them are family members!! Yeah, that’s right, I said it: some of the biggest projectionists in my world are my own flesh and blood! And, they’ve been projecting negativity onto me my whole life!
What I had to learn to do was not to take these people (my own family members!) seriously. If I listened to them and took their opinions to heart, there are a great number of things, I would’ve never done.
I had to realize that projectionism is a coping mechanism and helps people to deal with their own internal issues by placing them on someone else. “If I don’t claim it, it doesn’t exist.” Riiiiigggghhhhhtttt!
I had to realize that if I wanted to live positively, I had to learn to keep my distance from these people—to stop spending time with them, right down to not taking their phone calls. They were really bringing me down!
I know this sounds harsh, but I had to be proactive IN MY BEST INTEREST! Believe me, this wasn’t easy! It is so hard to see the whole forest when we are enamored by this one tree. In my case, the one tree is all my negative relatives. I had to bypass them and their negativity to see the rest of the wondrous forest.
Susan Harrow, renowned media coach, says, “Follow your Gypsy Spirit . . .Your gypsy spirit is a rose that blooms in the middle of the desert with no water in sight . . . Your gypsy spirit knows where to go and how to get there. It puts you on the move and asks you to pitch a tent wherever you are—no matter how harsh the weather . . . .—and make yourself a hot cup of tea.”
What are your secret dreams—the real, deep-down ones that you may have never told to anyone else before? If Life had no boundaries or naysayers, what would you be doing?
Got you thinking, didn’t I? Hmmm, this is a start.
We may not be able to see the forest for the trees sometimes, but sometimes we need to hang out in a different forest. Follow Your Gypsy Self! (And tell us about it by posting a comment!)
Do You Love Your Gypsy Self Now!? I Do!
Related posts:
- How Many Roads?: Embracing the True Nature of Change!
- Grateful After Thanksgiving!
- Getting Away From You To Get To Yourself!
- Change Begins With One Little Step: Didn’t You Know!?
- Being Still and Learning to Listen
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© 2009 You Can Love Your Life Now!
Tags: charlene brown articles, charli brown articles, Finding Your Direction!, living positively, negative family members, overcoming negativity, projectionism, projectionist, true gypsy self, true gypsy spirit, you can love your life now
June 18th, 2009 at 6:29 am
Hey, nice post, very well written. You should post more about this.